Please remember all the good times we've had already, as well as all the good times that are still out there waiting for us to discover. I know I'm really expecting a lot to ask you to continue making plans with me, but the alternative is too painful to even consider. Wouldn't it be great if we could still get away together for a while and try to put this behind us? We had already started to plan our summer vacation together before this happened. I enjoy taking turns at being chef (when we don't order pizza) and appreciate your willingness to watch a game with me once in a while. I would give anything to pick up where we left off-just doing everyday things like coming back to the apartment after work, kicking back on the couch and sharing the ups and downs of each other's day. What few problems we've had in the past have been minor and we've been able to work through them with very little trouble. I don't think it would benefit either one of us to give up on this relationship yet because we've both invested so much of ourselves into it already and our good times have far outnumbered the bad. In the past year, we've become so much a part of each other's lives that I really can't imagine my life without you anymore. I know it may be difficult to believe right now, but I really do love you and have honestly never loved anyone else. All that remains is guilt and a stronger resolve to be not only the man you want me to be, but to be the man that I want myself to be. Whatever selfish gratification I thought I'd gain by my foolish act has disappeared like a wisp of cloud under the noonday sun. Both the suffering that I've caused you and the misery I feel now show me that breaking my word causes too much damage to both of us to ever want to do it again. But if you could forgive me this time, I promise you this will never happen again. I have no excuse for what happened and saying "I'm sorry" hardly seems adequate. It's difficult for me to look in the mirror and I'm not proud of the man I see there when I do. But now that I understand the gravity of what I've done, my actions have filled me with self-loathing and remorse. In that moment, I just wanted to crawl under a rock somewhere and hide. You didn't need to say anything, anyway, because I saw it all in your eyes-betrayal, disillusionment, revulsion. Your pretty mouth dropped open slightly and you were at a loss for words. I saw the look in your eyes today when you finally realized what I had done.
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